Christmas is marketed as the most magical time of the year. Time for peace and family. But family does not necessarily mean peace for all of us.
Christmas with family
The entertainment industry made us believe that the holidays are about family. That being close to them is the ultimate gift. But that is true only for a few fortunate.
For many people, being around their birth family ranges from uncomfortable to borderline traumatizing. Their presence can push us back to our old ways of communicating and dealing with conflict.
If this is you, and you have no other option apart from spending your holidays with your relatives, I am so sorry. And I see you.
Christmas with chosen family
If you are an Expat and have migrated somewhere else, maybe you already noticed that friends around you became your new family. There is no need to compare blood related family to chosen family, what matters is how your heart feels around each person, and, at the same time, how much time you can spend next to them before running into your cave :). Hearing what you need is key to survive any situation.
Christmas alone
On the other hand, being alone during the time when family is mentioned so much, can be hard too. Even if bring alone is your own decision, images of people surrounded by their loved ones are impossible to escape. And it can be painful.
If this point does not apply to you, try to pay attention to people around you who might be alone during the holidays. Because some of us love being alone, but it is not an universal experience. For some, often the elderly, being alone is a result of a loss.
If you have the time and emotional capacity, consider giving lonely people the gift of your time. Creating social connections in ingrained into our DNA. You might be surprised about how much it gives you.
Christmas after a loss
All of us have experienced grief in one way or another. Everyday we are reminded about those we have lost. But some days are worst than others. Birthdays, anniversaries and yes, Christmas. If Christmas is too hurtful, remember to give yourself grace. You are doing your best.
If you think you cannot possibly do it, then don’t. No one can force you to celebrate. It is just a few days. No one says they need to be Christmassy. You don’t need to get a tree, decorate or bake any cookies. Just a few days and they will pass.
And if you feel like you have no one to talk to, make sure to reach out to us. We can make the time pass together.
Christmas abroad
This is is personal, as the majority of us in Gotya live abroad and/or have experienced life abroad before. Living abroad has its challenges all year around. Different climate, language, culture, you name it.
When it comes to life in Denmark specifically, there is loads of unspoken rules one has to follow. Rules and traditions. And all of the Christmas traditions are super cute, don’t get me wrong. But it is only natural to miss the traditions you grew up with.
It is important to find the balance between honoring our chosen country and its history, while still celebrating our own heritage.
If Christmas feels overwhelming, you are not alone.
There is not only one way Christmas has to be. Make sure to make it your own.
And remember that we got ya.
